Meta: The Slash Closet: Are You In or Are You Out?

[catwalksalone]

The Slash Closet: Are You In or Are You Out?
By muskratjamboree panel moderators: bluebrocade, shoemaster, and lovelokest.

The Slash Closet: it's where you hide when you're not comfortable being open about your slash habit. Maybe your friends and family are ultra-conservative or -- ick! -- homophobic. Perhaps your slash habit could cause you some professional headaches if your boss or colleagues found out. Maybe it's not the slash you're reticent to reveal; it's the explicit sex or your involvement with fandom itself. Maybe you just think your hobbies are no one's business.

We invite you to think about your slash habit. Who knows about it? Who doesn't? Why? Why not? Take our poll; read through some of the 200+ comments; then answer any or all of these questions...

1.) What's been your experience either positive or negative in telling people outside of fandom -- or having them find out on their own -- about your slash hobby?

2.) In the comments to our poll, several respondents expressed the idea that it wasn't the slash that they kept quiet about, it was fandom in general. Do you agree or disagree? Do you tell people of your involvement in fandom? Do you try to hide *the degree* of your involvement? Would you rather eat your socks then admit you read or write fanfiction?

3.) Several respondents said it's not the *slash*, it's the *sex* that they're closeted about -- i.e. they wouldn't talk about how they read/write het fic either. Do you feel the same? Is there a way to bring up slash without giving the impression that it's all about the sex (not the relationships)?

4.) Do you think the portrayal of slash in the media and/or the behavior of the more obsessive/enthusiastic fans at cons, on message boards, etc. is a factor in whether or not you choose to tell about your slash hobby?

5.) Some respondents commented that they specifically didn't tell their gay male friends because it might seem to their friends that they were turning their lifestyles into entertainment and marginalizing the struggles they endure in today's homophoboc society. Are we? Does slash help or hinder the struggle for equal treatment for homosexual and bisexual people or is it irrelevant? Should we be more open about it in order to show our support for our gay/lesbian/bisexual friends, colleagues, relatives, etc?

6.) Several respondents commented that "of course" they wouldn't discuss it at work, because it's not appropriate. Why? Because there's "sex" involved? If you think of it as a hobby (reading & writing), how is it any different than other people's hobbies -- fishing, hiking, reading biographies, watching movies, scrapbooking -- which are commonly discussed at work? Is it impossible to bring up slash without bringing up sex? Why or why not?

7.) Do you think there's a generational component? Is the under-30 crowd more accepting? Are you more likely to be open about your slash hobby if you're under 30?

Discuss.

Comments

[eledhwenlin]

So far all my experiences have been positive. But I come from a very geeky environment, university- and work-wise, so it wasn't anything special from the beginning on. Some people play RPGs extensively; I write about men having sex.

I'm decidly not in the closet - when someone asks, I openly talk about it. It helps that I don't just read fanfiction, but also books with homoerotic content (Poppy Z. Brite, anyone?), so it's not the fandom aspect that makes me special, but rather what I choose to be fannish about.

As for the degree of my involvement in fandom... I whined to several RL people about not being able to attend MJ (whether they understood my anguish is a question best left unasked, but at least I got comfort). A lot of people know that I write, although I tend to not be particular about what I'm writing at the moment (people tend to want to read what I write and comments like "Yeah, but you got to watch this movie first" tend to confuse them).

I, eh, think I tell people I write porn? At least I give pointers. Those who know I participate in fandom know that I write porn, mostly.

I don't know whether I would discuss it at work. I discuss writing per se at work (I have co-worker who writes, too), but we haven't talked much about what we write. I wouldn't hesitate to say that I write homoerotic stuff, but I don't think I'd discuss the explicit stuff extensively. But then such conversations don't come up that often anyway.

I think there is a certain generation gap in dealing with your slash hobby. I am 24 and a computer geek and I grew up in Germany and I think all of that contributes to giving me a certain kind of attitude - I don't care much about what anyone thinks about me and I don't care if I fit in with the general population. My parents are open-minded (my mother knows what I write) and as such they gave me the chance to be however I want to be like. I don't have to be afraid of voicing my opinions anywhere and as such I am very open about my opinions. I do understand that other people grew up in different circumstances, though, and would like to keep their fannish existence private.

(I guess in this aspect it helps that most of my working environment is young, too (my boss is 32), so - young open-minded people all round.)

[revbiscuit.livejournal.com]

I think your family and work environment needs to be fairly easygoing in order to share something like this. I don't think I could have ever discussed this with my mother. There was a reasonable age gap between us, and she was fairly catholic to boot. But I have a friend at work who is in her 50s; since I explained it to her, she understands the existence of fandom and what you can find in it, and thinks it's just another odd thing amongst many in life.

My husband is midly amused at my burgeoning interest in slash, but he doesn't mind. He reckons once you get to my age (40) you are expected to find a weird hobby, and seems sort of relieved that my pastimes no longer involve sticks and blades.

However, I have to admit that both my work mate and my husband are fairly open minded people. If anyone else found out I wouldn't hide it, but I am not openly advertising my interests either.

You may have a point about the age thing though, in that most of my work colleagues are older than me, and not very open minded with it. I still can't imagine what sort of trouble it might land me in though, other than have people gossip and stop inviting me down to the pub after work. Ah. Hang on a minute, they've already stopped doing that anyway. *g*

[ignazwisdom.livejournal.com]

One thing I considered when first taking that (incredibly awesome) poll was whether "opennness" was related less to one's age than to one's length of time in fandom. I'm under 30 (always have been!) but I was far more open about reading/writing fanfiction in the beginning than I am now.

[icarion.livejournal.com]

I too come from a very geeky community of RL friends, many of whom are even more enthusiastic about slash than I am! In fact, I think almost all the girls I know are slash readers, and some are slash writers. Of the boys, some are more comfortable with it than others. One or two claim not to understand the appeal, but no-one actually has a problem with it. If they don't get it, they just humour us when we talk about it. No-one I know is homophobic.

I think attitudes are a lot more accepting among younger people, and I have never met a group of people more open about their own deviant or bizarre sexual practices than geeks! Everyone is incredibly open and accepting of pretty much anything.

However, I do notice that attitudes change with interest and age. In my experience, young non-geeks are very accepting of homosexuality but a little bemused by fandom and slash. Older people who are accepting of homosexuality might be a bit more vehement or hostile about the idea of slash, and then when you go older still, you run into the homophobes. This of course is a huge generalisation, but it is a trend I've noticed.

As for gay men, I don't think they should be any more offended by the idea of slash fiction than straight women should be offended by straight porn, or lesbians by lesbian porn. As a bisexual girl, I'm not offended by the idea that some guys like lesbian porn, so I don't think gay men should have a problem with slash.

It does occur to me though that if more men knew that girls enjoy gay porn just like guys enjoy lesbian porn, maybe they'd be more accepting of gay men. Just a theory.